YES, I WASTED MY TIME. NOT AGAIN, THOUGH.

The last week was bad for me, and especially for those around me. The question I asked myself was the one no one had an answer to. No hint, no clue, just emptiness. Such are questions, right? They should rip your brain apart and leave you in a state of immense confusion. This is what we are. We must ask questions to ourselves, and remember, if you think you have the answer to it, think again because you might be incorrect too. Okay, enough side talks. 

Let me ask you a question. Do you believe in an unknown force, which is driving everything around us? All of us have different answers, but some of us get baffled. I am one of those people. Although I am an atheist (technically, but not literally), yet there is something else troubling me. Does it really matter? Is the concept of atheism any different than other differences that we all have? 

The past week of mine was spent in thinking about this thing. Pretty obvious, I didn't arrive at a conclusion. It did drive me insane, but a special reminder for you, I wrote this article when I was totally unbiased. So, don't suspect that I am going to attack your faith in any way! I have already moved away from this. 

I debated with people. But while arguing with them, I realized that after all, we all are different. We all are independent people with the ability to make a choice of our own. We were brought up differently, we are taught different things and at last, we make our own different choices. This is what happened here too. My mother was taken aback when I told her that I was a non-believer. She thought that I was just joking or was in a temporary state of teenage imbecility. But we grew out of that. But, lucky me, she didn't care that much about that. I was exposed to a different ideology. Yes, I was a contradiction in a family in which everyone believed. But, I was fortunate enough to have them accepting me. 

Then came a time when I almost became a nihilist. I denied the existence of anything. I started questioning my eyes, what I saw and what I believed. Yes, this universe couldn't have arisen on its own, then how was it created? This was the question I was asked by every believer. What did I say? I really don't know. Neither does anyone else. I know what you are thinking, in the age when I should party with my friends and shouldn't use my brain too much, why am I concerning myself so much. But, frankly ma'am/sir, this is the only thing I can do, besides wasting my time. 

What is the purpose of debates? To make you think and use your knowledge to try to convince others. It is no competition, where one side comes out winning. This is the thing, debates literally have no conclusion. It will only make you even more confused. This is how debates are organized, taking up two contradicting topics which are both good at their places. Especially when you debate on this topic, both sides are going to come out offended in some way. 

Now, you might be thinking, what did I get you here for? Simple. I am understanding something else. It doesn't matter! I am going to burst my brain if I think about it even a little bit more than this. Also, I feel so bad that I wasted my week in thinking about something so explanation-less. I realized that time was still running and I merely wasted it. 

The present is it. It is all you have. Make use of it. Don't think about what will happen when you will die. After all, it doesn't matter. All you have got is now. So use it. Stop procrastinating. Help others. Enjoy your life, it is short. Do things you like to do. 

After all, if I die and go to hell, or just die "BAM", at least I would have been happy in my lifetime. That is all I freakin' care about.

Ba-bye!